May 23, 2019 Last Updated 12:00 AM, Nov 30, 2019

What to do...

{jcomments off}Dear Astrology Room

I am a taurean woman 30/04/57 born around 7.20am. I have been having an on/off relationship with a cancer man 28/06/57 for a year. I love him so much, I've never known anyone like him, he seems to have the ability to awaken ALL of my senses!

When he is around me I feel I am truly myself. We get along really well, make each other laugh and share much.

There is a problem, however, he has two grown-up children at home and says he cannot commit to me until they are 'settled'. If I point out that he and I could live together anyway, he becomes upset. His wife died two years ago and he says his last promise to her was to look after the children. Of course I care, though they are 26 & 24 years old and have their own lives.

Is he afraid of commitment, or is it me? He says he loves me.

Help please!



Dear Suzanne

Thanks for your letter. As you are both born in the same year you do share some common affinities, which is great because you can understand each other on many levels. You personally, have quite a few planets, including the moon and sun, in Taurus, which will of course mean you dig your feet in and hang on tight and won't take no for an answer.  Your man has the moon and the sun in Cancer, a very loving and generous person, but also potentially devoted to the memory of the mother of his children. The children are not only simply his children, but they represent their mother, she is STILL there when they are there.

These days, children in their twenties tend to live at home more than ever due to economic situations etc. I know among my friends all of us about the same age as you that children often hang on until they're 28 or 29.... so it's unlikely they're going to fly the nest very easily unless they are dynamic, adventurous Sagittarians. And I think, after only two years since your friend's wife died, this is such a short time still for him to have come to terms with his bereavement, and he probably never will. We don't get over things, we just get through them. Like any good Taurus, you have zero patience, and zero tolerance of situations which frustrate you :-)

But what I am suggesting, is that you give him more time, lots more time, even several years, and accept that his children are also 'his wife'. To live with him would, in a way, be an intrusion into the relationship he still has with his wife, dead or not. Of course he loves you, but he also is filled with guilt, filled with memories (Cancer men live in their past),  but doesn't want to change what is reliable and known - even if it is the memory of a heart-breaking tragedy. Do you see? If you lived together he would be betraying his past, and he's not ready to do that until the children, and 'the mother in the children he sees every day,' have finally left too. When that time comes, he will probably need you as well as love you. But isn't his love enough, isn't love more grace-filled than need, even if you have to live apart for a while longer? He may well surprise you if you don't ask, push or demand, so maybe it's time to take your feet out of the mud and enjoy each day as it comes along.

Patience, and things will work out for you both I am sure.

With very best wishes




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